Things That Shouldn't Have Been Said
by sweetnsaucycherryblossom
Summary: Has Inuyasha finally gone too far with the way he treats Kagome? He said some things he shouldn't have a sent Kagome fleeing back home to the sanctuary there, only to be depressed enough to try and take her life. Can Inuyasha tell Kagome how he feels? R
1. Hurtful Words

Things That Shouldn't Have Been Said  
  
Chapter Two Waiting  
  
_Kagome's hospital Room  
_  
A steady beeping noise came from a machine attached to Kagome's body by a tube and needle protruding from the top of her hand, Inuyasha hated the stuffy odour from the 'hospitell' but he didn't care, all he wanted was for Kagome to live. He'd been at the modern day healers building for the past two days and Kagome had not yet awakened, he of course went back to his own to time to relay the news of what happened with Kagome to the others. None were happy of course, Sango crumbled to the hut's floor sobbing uncontrollably from hearing the shocking news, Miroku paled considerably and his usual smirk soon lost its way off of his face, but Inuyasha would have to say that Kaede and Shippo's reactions were the worst. Shippo ran off crying and sniffling, blaming Inuyasha for everything and Kaede nearly fainted clutching her heart and uttering the dirtiest curses a woman her age could. Everybody looked pale and withdrawn, but none compared to Inuyasha, he was shaky and uncertain and his usual attitude was gone and a despondent on took its place instead. He blamed himself, he knew deep down in its own way that he was the only one who drove Kagome to hurt herself. And if she didn't live he would never be able to look at his own reflection, let alone look into the faces of his travelling companions. Kagome's breathing was still shallow and her face was nearly a sickly shade of grey, her hands when Inuyasha would hold them within his own they were clammy with a cold sweat.  
  
A nurse at that time walked in a nd shook her head at the young man sympathetically and then silently clucked her tongue at the thought of a beautiful girl who had so much to live for doing such a thing. Gently she placed her hand upon Inuyasha's shoulder and slowly he looked up to her, eyes bleak and devoid...empty.  
  
"Sir, if you'd like I can bring you something to eat or drink. I'm sure you're starving." Inuyasha felt his stomach protesting for food so he nodded at the woman and spoke in a strained voice.  
  
"Thank you. That's very kind, if it's no bother I would be grateful for some ramen and perhaps some water, if it is no bother of course. If it is I can get it myself..." The young nurse stopped Inuyasha from rising from his seat beside Kagome and gave him a sweet smile.  
  
"It is no bother at all, really. I'll be right back, you can stay with your friend and I'll get the food." With that the kind nurse bustled from the room and went for the food, returning moments later.  
  
Inuyasha didn't realize until the moment that the smell of the food wafted to his nose how hungry he really was, taking the food he gave a slight bow and dug into the meal all but inhaling it. With a final glance, the nurse once again told Inuyasha should he need anything at all to ask her, and then she left Inuyasha alone again. Alone his thoughts on Kagome and what he was going to do when she came back to him from her world of pain.  
  
[A/N: So sorry this is so short but it had to be...just for effect! Next chapter will be better I promise! Ja ne.] 


	2. Waiting

Things That Shouldn't Have Been Said  
  
Chapter One Hurtful Words  
  
Kagome sat forlornly on the middle of the futon that occupied her room in Kaede's hut, fresh tears streaming down her face from her latest fight with Inuyasha earlier that day. Yet again Inuyasha went too far, and things that shouldn't have been said, were.  
  
The Fight Earlier That Day  
  
"Inuyasha, why do you always have to be such an ass!?" Kagome yelled at Inuyasha, she had asked to go home just for a day and he immediately sought a fight with her over the matter, "I just want to go home for a day, just to get supplies and make sure Grandpa isn't telling anymore weird stories about my 'illnesses', why can't you just let me go?" Inuyasha countered Kagome with a penetrating glare and his usual comment. All the while Miroku, Sango and Shippo stood by watching the usual activities take place.  
  
"Feh, like I care wench. You always have some stupid excuse to go back, this is just another one of them." Kagome knew Inuyasha didn't mean half of what he said, but of course she decided to keep his pride in tact, instead she chose to reply back, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"Oh yes Inuyasha, it's another one of my 'excuses', you know me so well. I guess the only reason why you won't let me go is because you'll miss me so badly, isn't it Inuyasha?" Kagome only teasing Inuyasha never thought he would have the nerve or the audacity to say what he said next.  
  
"Why in the seven hells would I care if you went or not, you mean nothing to me! I wouldn't even care if you came back or not!" A pained look came over Kagome's usually smiling and happy countenance, Inuyasha didn't mean what he said at all he only reacted in anger because she was taking everything too lightly. Tears began to spill down Kagome's cheeks and she turned on her heels running off to Kaede's hut, not even bothering to 'sit' him once. Miroku clubbed Inuyasha over the head with his staff glowering at him angrily, Sango began to pull out Hiraigotsu, but the crying Shippo stopped her from taking action and grilling Inuyasha one herself. Miroku meanwhile proceeded to haul Inuyasha up from the ground where he fell after he had clubbed him.  
  
"INUYASHA! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? WERE YOU EVEN THINKING AT ALL!?" Sango grabbed Miroku away from Inuyasha before any more harm could go his way before making it up to Kagome.  
  
"Monk, lay off him, will you. Inuyasha, you idiot! Why did you say that to Kagome, you really hurt her you know, you'd be lucky if she talks to you at all for the time being. That was really stupid of you, the hentai, Shippo and I all know you care for Kagome, but she doesn't... not with the way you treat her. Maybe it's time you did... don't you think?" Sango turned on Inuyasha after that and led Miroku and a sniffling Shippo away from the clearing, leaving Inuyasha to his thoughts.  
  
Kagome returning to Kaede's hut after the fight  
  
Kagome burst through the door of Kaede's hut, sobs escaping her throat as she ran straight past Kaede to her room. Kaede watched after the retreating form of Kagome and shook her head sadly.  
  
'Oh Inuyasha, what have ye said this time to sadden this poor child?' The elderly woman walked to the closed door in which led into Kagome's room, softly she knocked upon the door. Kaede was fully aware that the young Miko placed a barrier upon the door, preventing anyone but herself to leave that room or enter without permission.  
  
"Kagome? Child, may I know as to why ye are so upset? I would come in but I'm afraid ye've blocked us out." She heard Kagome sniffle on the other side of the door and her voice strained from crying came through to Kaede.  
  
"I'd rather not speak to anyone right now Kaede...please understand." Kaede nodded, even though she was on the opposite side of the door as Kagome.  
  
"Alright child, if that is what ye wish right now. Call me if ye need anything." With that Kaede went back to her chores around the hut and prepared herbs for wounds and ailments of sorts that the group seemed to receive on their quests, she really hoped things would turn for the better.  
  
Inuyasha  
  
Inuyasha sat dazed, rubbing gingerly the lump Miroku had so kindly left for him to nurse on his head. Over and over he replayed the scene of himself and Kagome fighting, the look on Kagome's face when he told her she meant nothing to him, but deep down he knew she was what he cared for most in the world. Damn him and his stupidity! Why did he have to go and say something like that, Sango was right, he would be lucky if Kagome chose to spoke to him again in the near future. He knew he had to go and apologize this time, she'd never forgive him if he never, even then he knew chances of Kagome forgiving him immediately were slim still. But he had to try, it was the best he could offer at that particular time. Rising from where he sat on the ground, Inuyasha dusted himself off and headed to the nearest river to clean himself up a bit, he wanted to apologize the right way and having a clean appearance seemed a good thing to him.  
  
Kagome's room  
  
Kagome looked down upon her hands, they were clasped together in her lap, her knuckles were beginning to turn white with the force she was holding them together with. Tears still poured down her face openly and she cared not a bit of it, bitterly she mused on how her mascara was probably running while she cried, she unclasped her hands and struck the futon's mattress with an angered cry. She stood suddenly and walked the short distance in her room to where her discarded backpack lay, picking it up she slung it over her shoulders and took the barrier from the door. Walking out of her room, Kagome strode purposely out into the front room said her goodbyes for the time, she apologized saying she didn't know when she'd be back now, and left for the well, leaving forlorn friends behind. Making it to the well in record time Kagome never hesitated before jumping into the well, the familiar light engulfing her, bringing her back to her own time in modern day Tokyo.  
  
Inuyasha  
  
Inuyasha was cleaned up and making his way to Kaede's in good time, he arrived shortly and found everyone sitting around looking lifeless, tear stains were evident on both Sango and the Kitsune's faces. Kaede gave the hanyou a reproachful look and Miroku chose to ignore his presence, it was Shippo on the other hand who chose to speak up.  
  
"Inuyasha, how dare you? You wrecked Kagome, she was crying and left because of you... she told us she may not be coming back for a long time. Do you even care Inuyasha? I hope you're happy now meanie!" The young Kitsune then ran from the room and locked himself in Kagome's old room, not wanting her to leave him like the rest of his family had. Silent tears fell down his face until a restless slumber took over his small body.  
  
Two days later  
  
Kagome's home  
  
"Kagome! Dinner time, please come down and eat sis! Mom's getting worried and so am I and Gramps , please Kag's I won't bug you anymore!" Souta Higurashi called futilely up the stairs to his sisters room, her door locked to the outside world and her windows locked and closed shut as well. It had been two days since she returned home from the Warring States Era and she had locked herself away in her own world of depression, letting no one in to talk to her and not even coming out to eat. Her whole family knew something must have happened, but she had never acted like this before, they were all growing worried. They always knew Kagome to being fun loving and care free, never like this, she was now like a broken shell.  
  
Kagome's room  
  
Kagome looked down upon her hands, they were clasped together in her lap, her knuckles were beginning to turn white with the force she was holding them together with. Tears still poured down her face openly and she cared not a bit of it, bitterly she mused on how her mascara was probably running while she cried, she unclasped her hands and struck the futon's mattress with an angered cry. Abruptly she stood and grabbed her backpack from the floor, she dumped whatever it held in it upon the bed, she rifled through her belongings and stopped when she finally found what she was looking for. A small knife, small but sharp, rolling up the sleeve of her Fuku Kagome made a small slice in the flesh of her arm. The first shock of pain was washed over by a numbness as she did the same thing to her other arm, she deliberately made sure she did not cut anything vital. In the background she could hear Souta's worried voice and the smell of her favourite foods, her stomach rumbled its dissatisfaction, but Kagome ignored it. Her hands were beginning to shake and the knife she held slipped, she sliced into her wrist, an unknown urge took over her and she switched hands doing what had just happened to her one wrist and did it to the other. In a semi-shocked daze Kagome watched as her own blood poured from the wounds, finally realization hit her and she knew she was bleeding too much, standing she tried to make her way to her bedroom door for help. But blood loss took over and she blacked out at the same time her brother came to a halt outside her door about to knock. Hearing the loud crashing noise from behind his sister's bedroom door he instantly sensed something wrong was happening and went running downstairs to his mother.  
  
Inuyasha  
  
At the same time Souta was calling Kagome down for dinner, Inuyasha had had enough of sitting around and giving Kagome 'time to think', so Miroku had suggested, and decided to go to Kagome and beg forgiveness. Bounding to the well Inuyasha was there and going to Kagome's time at about the same time the Higurashi's, minus Souta, were all rushing behind an ambulance that carried a near lifeless Kagome to the Tokyo emergency room. The minute Inuyasha stepped through the well he could sense...and smell something was wrong, he could smell fear, blood and tears all together. He prayed to the Gods for strength at that time. Running to the house he didn't bother to go through Kagome's window he just went through the door for once, the instant he did he found Souta sitting at the dining room table, crying and unaware of Inuyasha's presence. Clearing his throat he caught the young boys attention and soon found the boy clinging to his waist crying onto his haori. Momentarily Inuyasha just stood there. But soon hugged the trembling child to him, trying to quiet his sobs, kneeling down he looked the boy in the eyes and spoke soberly.  
  
"Hey kid, where's your family? I can tell something happened and I can smell someone's blood, you can tell me. What's happened?" Souta sniffled and said the words Inuyasha feared most of all.  
  
"My family is at the Tokyo hospital..." The boy sniffled once more and wiped his nose with a Kleenex, "Kagome tried to kill herself...she locked herself in her room for two days straight and didn't come out...mom made me go to get her to come out for dinner. But when I got upstairs and was right outside her room...I-I heard a crash and went and got mom...we found her on her floor bleeding really badly, I was so scared. I don't want my sister to die! I don't want her to leave mama and I just like dad did!" Inuyasha's world crashed around him as he listened in numb shock to what Souta told him, Kagome tried to take her life? But why, why would she do something like that, doesn't she know how many people cared about her? Without realizing tears slid down Inuyasha's face and he cried, for himself and for Kagome. 


	3. Waking Up

  
  
Things That Shouldn't Have Been Said  
  
Chapter 3 Waking Up  
  
Staring intently at the young woman's sleeping form as if she would awaken any moment at his will, Inuyasha shifted uncomfortably in the padded wooden chair, and reached out for Kagome's hand. It felt semi-warm, but still not all of Kagome's body heat hadn't returned to normal, Kagome gave a small whimper and stirred in her sleep immediately falling back into the restless slumber once again. Softly, so as not to disturb her, Inuyasha pressed his lips softly to the palm Kagome's hand and the turning her hand over brushed a feathery light kiss on the knuckles. Carefully Inuyasha set Kagome's small hand back down upon the crisp sheets of the bed and found a reasonably comfortable position to sleep in within the confines of the small chair he had made his residence...until Kagome came back to him and the others.  
  
Inuyasha's dream  
  
Inuyasha was sitting within the same chair that he had been sitting in for the past four days, keeping his vigil beside Kagome; unblinkingly he peered at her with heavy lidded eyes that were growing dark underneath from a lack of sleep. Kagome shifted in the bed and slowly with muffled groans she opened her eyes slowly, adjusting to the dimness of the room she was in and the strange noises of the hospital.  
  
"I-Inuyasha?" Voice a mere croak, Kagome peered at the young man before her, "Inuyasha, it's your fault isn't it? It's your fault that I did this to myself, isn't it? You drove me to this!" Kagome's voice was laced with fury and her body shook from the exertion she was putting out with yelling at Inuyasha.  
  
"Kagome I..." Kagome's bitter voice cut through what Inuyasha was about to say, turning on her side to avoid looking at Inuyasha she said the one thing he dreaded hearing from her lips, "I hate you Inuyasha, you're nothing but a dirty animal and I wish that I would have just died!" The world stopped spinning and crumbled before Inuyasha's eyes, Kagome hated him, and she just said so.  
  
End Of Dream  
  
Inuyasha woke up from the dream with a start, bathed in a cold sweat. Wildly he peered around the room, his gaze settling upon the still unmoving form of Kagome, listening carefully his ears picked up the still steady, but shallow beat of her heart and the gentle in and out of her breath. The dream still remained fresh within his mind and he wished it would just vanish into thin air and just stop playing itself over in his mind. Slowly Inuyasha approached Kagome's bed and sat upon it gingerly, then carefully laying himself down beside Kagome, wrapping one arm about her waist bring her to a cradled position against himself. Deeply inhaling the scent that was only hers, it calmed Inuyasha's senses and brought him once again close to slumber, but before he completely fell asleep his last thoughts were of what had happened in the past few days.  
  
' Kagome. This is my entire fault; I should never have said those things. I should have told you how I really feel...' Heavy lidded Inuyasha fell into a slumber that was for once more peaceful than what he had been sleeping like over the course of the past days.  
  
Next Morning  
  
Inuyasha felt a stir within the bed and he heard the telltale sounds of a muffled yawn, by Gods Kagome was waking up! Turning over onto his side to face the young miko, Inuyasha's own amber orbs peered into the chocolate brown ones of the girl who had nearly died because of him, saddened Inuyasha lowered his eyes as he crawled off of the bed, head downcast afraid of what he may see in Kagome's eyes. He heard a small whimper escape from Kagome's slightly parted lips, but he kept his eyes from seeing any of her raw emotions written all over her face.  
  
"I-Inuyasha? Why won't you look at me?" Hurt was in her voice and she didn't make an effort to hide it, she couldn't, no wouldn't do that. Why wouldn't he look at her? Was he too repulsed to look at her after what she had done? She just wanted answers, and she wanted them now. Inuyasha didn't look like he was about to hand them out though, but Kagome was determined to make him. Inuyasha went to move away further from Kagome, but ignoring the aching pain that raced through her body in protest at the movement, she reached out and snatched his hand into hers.  
  
"Ka...gome...what are you doing?" Taken aback Inuyasha stared first at Kagome and then at the small, delicate hand within his own rough and callused hand. Fierce determination was coursing through Kagome and she wasn't backing down, not now, or ever.  
  
"Inuyasha, why won't you look at me?" She tightened her grip on Inuyasha's hand when it felt like he might have pulled away forcing him to turn and look at her. He sighed and knelt in front of her by the bed, keeping the contact of their hands there.  
  
"Kagome, I wasn't looking at you because I was afraid that I would see hatred in your eyes staring up at me, not friendship still like there is. I was afraid you were going to tell me that you hated me because it's my fault that you tried to kill yourself..." Inuyasha broke down and hugged Kagome close to himself, inhaling her scent as if it were a lifeline to him, "You scared me so much Kagome, I didn't want to lose the one I loved again. I didn't want to lose you like how I did with my mother as a child and Kikyo when I had loved her once..." Inuyasha broke off and looked Kagome in the eyes and he could the questions there and he was prepared to answer them.  
  
"Inuyasha, what are you trying to say?" Kagome frowned, looking at Inuyasha perplexed.  
  
"Kagome...I love you...I didn't think I would have the chance to tell you that when your brother told me what you had done to yourself, I went back the next day and told the others about what had happened. I don't think they took it very well...especially Shippo and the old hag...but that doesn't matter right now. What matters is that I love you and was able to tell you that." Inuyasha stopped when Kagome placed a light kiss on his cheek and whispered to him.  
  
"I love you too..." 


End file.
